Текст песни: Crazy Rap (Palmdale Sessions) + перевод

You like that shit, man?

Hey man, I’ve got a gang of that shit, man

Hey, I’ll tell you what

We’ll all have a good time

We’ll fool on the drum

And hey, hey if everybody crowd around the mic'

I’ll tell you all these motherfuckin' jokes I got

First I’m gonna start off like that, hey help me sing it, homeboy

Said Colt 45 and two zigzags, baby, that’s all we need

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

As the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale

Skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville

If my tapes and my CDs just don’t sell, I bet my Caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in a small white town

They call it East Side Palmdale (well)

When the Afroman walked through the white land

Houses went up for sale

Well, I was standing on the corner sellin' rap CDs

When I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my Caddy

Because I didn’t know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan

We fucked on the bed

Fucked on the floor

Fucked so long I grew a fuckin' afro

Then I fucked to the left (left)

Fucked to the right (right)

She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white

Thought to myself, «sheeba-sheeba»

Got my ass lookin' like a zebra

I put on my clothes and I was on my way

Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

And so I ran, I jumped out the back window

But her daddy, he was waitin' with a two-by-four

Oh, he beat me to the left

He beat me to the right

The motherfucker whooped my ass all night

But I ain’t mad at her prejudiced dad

That’s the best damn pussy I ever had

Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine

I’m gonna fuck that bitch just one more time

Said Colt 45 and two zigzags, baby, that''s all we need

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

As the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale

Skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac Coupe Deville

If my tapes and my CDs just don’t sell, I bet my Caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood

She had green hair, but damn she looked good

I took her to my house because she was fine

But she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan

Never made love with an African

I fucked her once, I fucked her twice

I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice

Don’t be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya)

I met a woman in the heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big titties too

So I hopped in her ass like Kangaroo

See, I met this woman from Hawaii

Stuck it in her ass and she said «AIEE!»

Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch

Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch

I met Colonel Sanders' wife in the state of Kentucky

She said, «I'd fry some chicken if you’d just fuck me»

I came in her mouth, it was a crisis

I gave her my secret blend of Herbs 'n' Spices

Said Colt 45 and two zigzags, baby, that''s all we need

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

As the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee

Her titties were filled with Hennessy

That country music really drove me crazy

But I rode that ass and said, «Yes, Miss Daisy»

Met this lady in Oklahoma

Put that pussy in a coma

Met this lady in Michigan

I can’t wait 'til I fuck that bitch again

Met a real black girl down in South Carolina

Fucked her until she turned into a white albino

Fucked this hooker in Iowa

I fucked her on credit, so I owe her (ha, ha)

Fucked this girl down in Georgia

Came in her mouth, man, I thought I told ya?

Met this beautiful sexy ho

She just ran across the border of Mexico

Fine young thing said her name’s Maria

I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla

I wanna get married, but I can’t afford it

I know I’ma cry when she get deported

Colt 45 and two zigzags, baby, that''s all we need

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

As the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

Have you ever went over a girl’s house to fuck

But the pussy just ain’t no good? (say what?)

I mean, you gettin' upset because you can’t get her wet

Plus you in the wrong neighborhood

So you try to play it off and eat the pussy

But it take her so long to cum

Then a dude walk in, that’s her big boyfriend

And he asks you, «Where you from?»

So you wipe your mouth and you try to explain

You start talking real fast

But he already mad 'cause you fucking his woman

So he start beating on yo' ass

Now your clothes all muddy

Your nose all bloody

Your dick was hard but now it’s soft

You thought you had a girl to rock your world

Now you still gotta go jack off

Said Colt 45 and two zigzags baby that’s all we need

We can go to the park, after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed