Текст песни: Bizarre Christmas Incident + перевод

Ho ho ho!

Play it Grandpa

(Yeah, play it!)

Let’s tell them a little story

About what happened this Christmas

(Yeah, tell them!)

Christmas Eve

I didn’t get much sleep

I kept hearing things

Heavy breathing from the chimney…

Who could it be?

(I'll tell you what it was…)

(What happened then, Ben?)

(Yeah, what happened?)

Well, I went back to sleep…

(You went back to sleep?!)

(Shit!)

Tired man, went back to sleep

And in the morning

I couldn’t believe my eyes

A whale of a corpse with a long, white beard

Was dangling over the fire

(ha ha ha!)

Oh, Santa, he’s a big, fat f*ck

Went down the chimney, got his fat ass stuck

Oh, honey call the lawyers fast

'cause Mrs. Claus is gonna sue my ass

Hey, hey, hey!

(hey!)

Okay Grandpa, step up

Sing in this thing right here

Tell them what you saw

Tell them what you saw, Grandpa!

I gotta tell you folks

He wasn’t wearing no clothes

(No clothes?!)

He must have rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco

From his back, down to his toes

While I was talking to the cops outside

The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs

They hauled him away in a double-wide

What a sad, sad way to die

Santa, he’s a big, fat f*ck

Went down the chimney, got his fat ass

Oh, honey call the lawyers fast

Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass

Перевод песни Bizarre Christmas Incident