Текст песни: How Do You Make a Baby? + перевод

Having cappuccino on a Sunday afternoon

The paper has a piece about an old jazz lady

My daughter is beside me. She’s turning seven soon

She says: «Daddy, how do you make a baby?»

Ok, ehh

If a mommy and a daddy love each other very much

Maybe they, one Saturday … Hold hands

And if they hold tight and didn’t drink too much scotch

In a while, with a smile, a little baby lands

I could relax again. I knew that she would understand

And turned the paper to a feature story ‘bout Tibet

But then she said: «Me and grandma have been holding hands

And I don’t see that we have got a little baby yet!»

Yes, but you see

To make a baby you need a girl and a boy

And usually it’s not produced on their first date

And when they’re holding hands, a little navy is deployed

And honestly, for grandma it’s a little late

Yes, I’m a super teacher! I thought so I returned

To my paper and a piece about Norwegian fern

«But daddy, I was holding hands with Kevin and with Roy

And I have checked, and I don’t have a little baby boy»

I see, but you have to

Hold hands at least five minutes, maybe ten

And some want the light on and some want it dark

You do it once or over and over again

And when you’re done holding hands, have a cigarette!

But then my daughter told me: «Daddy, you are wrong

I have read a book, and you’ve been wrong all along

First you should undress even though it isn’t night

Then go to a bed and hug each other tight

After this a little sperm comes across an egg

And settles down and the uterus becomes a shell

The baby peeks out between the mother’s legs

And then you’re happy even though it hurts like hell

So now that you know how to become a parent

Be a lover, make my mother very pregnant

I can watch Disney Channel. I won’t be a bother

Drop your bloody paper and fix me a brother!

Yes, run to the kitchen and make love to my mother!"

Перевод песни How Do You Make a Baby?